Sunday, January 04, 2009

Redneck Neighborhood

Time: 2-4:30 AM
Place: Oak Hills Rd.
Occasion: Redneck Bonfire

It started at 2AM sharp. The neighbors that live directly in front of us decided to have a bonfire. As I lay in bed I can see the blaze out my bedroom window. The blaze is located where their back yard ends and our wooded yard begins.
Breathe, pray they aren't intoxicated and don't catch the woods on fire, and burn my house down.
Try to relax and go back to sleep. Try to ignore that my pain meds aren't working and just...sleep.

2:30 I am awakened by a POP sound. Not real loud, but pop there it is again. Peer out window. The redneck neighbors are still standing around their bonfire having a good ole time. That was the source of the pop sound.
Breathe, at least they haven't left the fire unattended. Maybe they won't burn the woods down! Try again to ignore that my swollen, bruised face is killing me, and...sleep.

3Am, 3:30AM, 3:45AM POP, BANG, POW, EXPLODE!
Peer out window again. Rednecks still standing around an ever growing bonfire. The pops, and bangs are getting louder, and louder still.
All I can picture is someone tossing an airesol (sp) can on the fire and sending said can through my bedroom window straight into my cranium. It's a huge window, you know. Like 10ft. X 12ft. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall.

At this point we're all aggravated so we get out of bed and assemble on the couch. Groggy headed and wondering why Saturday night = redneck bonfire in this neighborhood?

4AM Redneck neighbor comes knocking on the door to ask if the noise is bothering us.
Now, why on earth would you think that it would bother us? I mean, it's only 4AM, and it's only been going on for a few wee hours. What's the bother?

He says, "We're sorry if we woke you, we are just trying to use up some leftover fireworks from THE FOURTH OF JULY!" Yep, you read that right.

Chris says, "Well... We're all ALREADY awake now!"
Which is his not so subtle way of saying no it's not ok, and apology not accepted because what good does this do come tell us this hours AFTER the fact. We're up now as you can see. My wife is in pain from surgery and can't get any rest! Gee, thanks for coming to tell us and see if it's ok. (NOT!)

Guy apologizes and says he'll go tell "them" to stop it with the fireworks.

Oh wow. How nice, how thoughtful of you to put a stop to it only 3 hours later. You're just the neatest neighbor ever! If only all of our nighbors came for 4am visits more often!

1 comment:

scrapper al said...

Don't say that Kristie! They really might start visiting at 4:00 am!