Monday, November 24, 2008

Vices and their significance.

Coffee is my vice. There's history of how that came to be. It's about way more than a beverage. Read on if you're feeling nostalgic...

My dad drank coffee, but only one cup at breakfast time and occasionally when we went out to eat. It wasn't something I took note of or put any thought into at the time. Not until after he passed away. He's been gone almost 12 years now. He died in his mid 60's due to a missing heart valve. He was born without it, as was his mother that passed away when he was only 16.

He was a Christian, upstanding citizen, helper of his fellow man, and a good example of what (we believe) God intended a father to be, and how to love his children. He did not drink, smoke, or swear. And God love him, he put up with my Moms mood swings and bouts with depression for 39 years. All the while never letting it get him down. He truly loved her as Christ loved the church.

Anyway- I'm getting off topic a bit.
The point is that I slowly started drinking coffee after his death. I didn't care for it. But even though I didn't like the taste of it, I found that taking even a couple of small sips somehow made me feel better emotionally.
You know where I'm going with this. It was a comfort thing. It was sub-conscious at first.
Now I "get" it. It makes me feel better because it is familiar. It makes me feel like a part of dad still lives. It brings back childhood memories of him. And in a way, it is my little way of celebrating him, concentrating on my roots and getting in touch with myself all at the same time.

Now I'm on the eve of turning 36 and I've come to like the flavor of coffee, but mostly I like the sense of peace that comes over me. I stop everything I'm doing and have a hot cup. I like having it in my presence.
I drink it to reflect. I drink it in memorandum. I drink it to celebrate. At the bottom of every cup is my reminder that things aren't so bad and it's a new day, and anything really is possible. Yep, all that from one cup of coffee. For me it really is more than just a beverage.

Thanks for listening...

2 comments:

Gabbriella said...

tears,tears,tears....I will listen anytime sweetie....this is why I sew.....(MOM)
I know that closeness feeling you are talking about & if i might say so, it is one of the best feelings in the world since she is gone. But let us rejoice everyday that we will be with them in Heaven again, in the blink of an eye someday, but in the meantime...you have your coffee & I have my sewing.And & Mom & Dad know.
Have a great day girlfriend :)
I will be thinking of you while drinking my coffee this AM

scrapper al said...

Awww sweetie, what a wonderful tribute to your dad and reminder to savor the moment. I don't think I'll ever look at a cup of coffee the same way.