Friday, December 12, 2008

Husband Wanted

Wanted: One husband. Must be home nights and preferably weekends, too. Must not have an obsession with cradling the remote control. Must be willing to share in chores, errands, and responsibilities of the children, including the fur babies. A partner that is knowledgeable about the finances would be a big plus also. A man that realizes a woman's worth and how hard she works, and that nothing gets done by little fairies while I get pedicures and eat bon bons. HA!

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Where do I begin? I'm pulled about as tight as a girl can get without actually snapping in two. Every single day of my life there is washing, cleaning, straightening, feeding, feeding, and preparing to feed. Then there are the errands. The errands never freaking end! I swear a good 50% of my life is making To Do lists and the other half is spent trying to find the time to actually DO, or buy the things on it. Who has time to eat?!
I know there are many, many women that do this day in and out for years and I applaud you!
I am completely used to Chris being gone. Before he got this job he was always gone with his other job. This isn't new. I can manage. But dang ya'll. I'm tired of bearing all the load alone ALL. THE. TIME!

Maybe it's because I am getting older. I dunno!
I do have Alex and Caleb here to help me, but I have to TELL them when the trash needs to be taken off, TELL them that the dishwasher needs to be loaded, TELL them every single little thing or it doesn't get done. Frustrated, oh yeah.
From vet visits, oil changes, insurance policies, household maintenance, CHRISTMAS, Christmas, Christmas, Caleb's birthday MONDAY!!!!, putting drops in the dogs eyes every 4 freaking hours! Make sure everyone around me is happy, fed, clothed or I'm gonna hear about it, you can bet on it!
You know that saying, when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy? HOGWASH! When the kids aren't happy and every little want or need isn't fulfilled who do you think hears about it? Who do you think is their personal complaint department? ME, that's who! Us MOMS!

I didn't write this to complain. I know it sounds like I am. And I really am thankful that I have all these problems because it means I have a home, a car, healthy kids, sweet fur babies, clothes on my back to get dirty. Yes, I am trying my hardest to look at these things as blessings. But I am also a realist and I get sick and tired of bearing ALL the load myself. I'm only human. A little 5'2" human that is simply tired, strung out, and looking for the retirement line. I am ready to quit.

And please, please don't tell me to look at the bright side. Please don't tell me it won't always be this bad. Don't tell me it will all have been worth it in the end. Don't tell me that I should whistle while I work because I am setting an example to my kids of how a Christian mother shows her love in serving her family. Just let me be exhausted this time. Tomorrow is a new day and with it I may feel better, or, I may not. That's life, isn't it? It's not all roses all the time.

Worn the freak out and if I had alcohol in my presence, well, I wouldn't have, because I'd drink it!

1 comment:

islandgirl said...

I hear you Kristie. I go through stages where I can handle it all and it's ok, and then times where I just crash and burn and am too tired to care and do more. For me it was a random thing someone told me that allowed me to finally climb out of the hole I had dug myself in. It was to allow yourself 5 minutes to feel the pain, and acknowledge what you are feeling, and then to get up and take care of what you need to. I had been allowing myself to stay down and out for weeks at a time. That's when things turned around for me. It's still just as hard, it's just now I can face it. Whereas before, I couldn't even face anything anymore. Maybe I had enough of being down in the dumps. It's no fun, and I needed my life to be fun, so I had to choose it for myself.